My First Mountain Summit ....
I really didn't think I could do it.... When asked if I wanted to hike a mountain ( that turned into three...) of course I wanted to... but I really didn't think I could do it.
I only really hiked locally and wasn't sure if my mind or body would be up to the task. I was nervous but said yes to adventure and promised to push myself and try my very best.
When I first came to the first trail head I was excited and nervous. I pictured myself at the top of the mountain but imagined myself stuck up there out of exhaustion. As we started climbing I thought about the year I had... a very rough year to say the least and I thought about all the shit I didn't think I could do ….. that I did do.
I made it through EVERY single bump and thing that happened to me all year from having to leave the home I worked so hard to make mine, living in my studio, living in my camper, to having to live in a small rental home and realistically almost being homeless if I wouldn't have found my house in time. Losing my pets, losing my shop and rebuilding my shop. All of those moments felt like too much to handle .... I didn't think I could do it.
I could do those things... and I could climb this mountain.
Every single step felt like a literal step in the right direction. I was leaving all the things I didn't think I could do behind me because the things I did this year were certainly harder than climbing this mountain *right?*
At that point I wasn't even close to the summit but every winding part of the trail felt closer and closer to making it to the top. I was tired and challenged and happy to be doing something that was outside my comfort zone.
If you have never hiked a mountain ...there is a part in the hike that the trees begin to open up and you can hear the birds singing. Its like you taste it- you're almost there but you have to keep going to get to the top. That is exactly how I felt all year... I just kept going and this summer finally felt like that mountain air when you are almost to the top but you have to keep going.
When we were almost at the summit I was tired, hungry, thirsty, nervous, excited and happy... I almost started running to the summit but wanted to savor this moment and take my time.... I had never seen the world from the top of a mountain and I wanted to take my time and enjoy it.
When my weary feet and hiking poles were taking those last steps I broke out into tears because .... I truly didn't know if I could do it and I DID IT..... I climbed that god damn mountain ... one single step at a time.
At many moments it felt like it would be too much but I kept on. Shout out to my love who kept me going through it all and in the moments I wanted to give up said " We will make it to the top, together".
This may have been my first mountain but it certainly wont be my last. I learned a lot about myself on that mountain. It healed a piece of me. If I have learned anything about life this year is ... you actually CAN do it. I still have so many days that I feel like I cant do it and I think about that mountain.....
The best views come after the hardest climbs.
Until next time.... Cheers & summit beers!